Love It happens, that's more or less it. You don't get a say when, you're only able to improvise once the fact is here. The attachment you feel is great, probably one of the best feelings you can ever have. We're wired for it to be the case. But the fear of inadvertently severing this attachment is also part of the package, and the power it has (on me) is potent. It's the fear of losing it that's making people do all kinds of things. It's so weird, it feels the more you pay attention, the more risks you have of breaking that link. It's like if you really liked a vase and wanted to preserve it as much as you can, but by wishing so you become increasingly clumsy and end up leaving scars all over it. At one point you wish to wear thick gloves at all times, but you know doing so is not only dishonest, but may end up having the opposite effect as well. In the end, should you try to protect this attachment at all? Isn't it better to leave it be, so that it either breaks early on or heals back stronger in the same way bones do? But you don't want it to break. You want it to grow stronger without having to bend or stretch it. That is a lack of maturity. It's selfish. It's denying the other your true self. Word after word, it makes more and more sense. And weirdly enough, realizing it is calming. Maybe because grasping the entirety of one's ignorance also highlights that the path isn't over, that improvement is possible.